Different Seasons~

There have been many different seasons during my Christian walk...there have been times where God has been silent on many issues and I am left to wonder~ Thinking so many different thoughts....like...are you there Lord? What is it your trying teach me? and the silence can be deafening. Now is such a time~ God's provision has always been there...we have been blessed to not go without...but there has been much loss as well. So I have been away a while really contemplating...endlessly. It is a season where my husband is struggling...a man's identity is wrapped in how he can provide and Tom was a very good provider....we always had more than enough to share with others....he so enjoyed blessing others and now not being able to provide in the manner he would want has him questioning many things in his life. I am in prayer for many things....for our family, for my father ....my mother~ this season is not comfortable...not pleasant but I will Praise God for the things we do have ....for the Lord's strength that is my very breathe~ I know that I can do nothing without the Lord....to get up each morning could be a struggle if I allowed myself to wallow but wallowing is not an option..the only option is total reliance upon the Lord.

Late night~

Another long day~ better than yesterday...so I am thankful. One day seems to be blending into the next as of late...between all the running but! I am grateful that the Lord has enabled me to "run" at all~ I am thankful for many friends that have been such an encouragement during these difficult days....sometimes you just have to have a complete breakdown to realize that yes...God is in control. Even when life seems to be in total chaos and I am despairing...to be reminded that my Lord loves me and knows the mess that life has gotten to be~ and He is here has a plan for not only my life but my families as well. He will place us where He wants us and will give Tom the job He has set aside for him at the time He has appointed. Life is messy and is not always what we expect but the Lord has been gracious enough to remind me that He hears me in middle of it all~