Sunday, May 23, 2010

Call~

Well...Tom got a phone this afternoon and has a job interview set for Tuesday. Thank God! He has a spring in his step and is excited at the prospect of working after only having part-time work off and on for the past two years. It has been a week of highs and lows here with all the many different events that have gone on but God is so good~ His grace continues to help us through each and everyday. I am thankful we won't have to leave until Wednesday now so that will give Gabby and I time to recuperate. I am hoping to be able to see grandma before I leave as I have not been able to visit with her for the past two weeks because of my flare. I am walking in faith believing that the Lord will allow our lives to begin to settle once again into a "normal" rhythm and we might be able to move into a home more suitable for our family. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and His name is Jesus~

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Praise~

Praise God from whom all blessings flow~ Praise Him all creatures here below~ Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts~ Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost
Amen!

Well today started with me going to the new primary care who at my first visit would not do anything that I needed to have done...so I went not knowing what to expect but not really expecting much..and I left it in Gods hands. Meanwhile Tom went to return the car he had purchased due to smoke and engine lights....I sent the Lord before both of us for our day~ Wow...the Lord was really listening this morning! I had my appointment with the PA who was very caring and polite and really listened....I was in shock and than I realized the Lord had made a way where I felt hopeless just days ago~ She is going to order the tests I need and actually took the time to explain my test results and will work with my Rhuematologist so that I can get the care I need. Thank you Father~ Tom got to the car lot and the salesman was extremely helpful and found us a minivan that way we could all fit and than to our shock when he and Tom were talking about work experiences...well~ he told Tom they were looking for help and introduced him to everyone and Tom was able to fill out an application and may have a interview when we come home...Thank you Lord! This would be such an answer to pray~ Gabby asked me the other day if God was really listening to us...it was very emotional for me but I told her what I believe...God does hear us it is just we want things quicker than perhaps is Gods plan for us...and His plan a His timing is perfect...and when I struggle I must remind myself us this sometimes on a momentary basis...But! I do believe it~

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Hurt~

Have you ever been hurt by a "friend"..someone that you had shared confidences with....someone you thought had your best interests at heart to only realize that they had not~ the realization is overwhelming like getting punched in the gut. I have known this person for many years now...taken her family as my own....gone to bat for her against many others that tried to forewarn me ....now I am left asking myself how could I not see the manipulation...how could I not see the controlling behaviour and now that I've seen it and drawn the line....she will not leave me alone~ she is relentless with the excuses..and it continues..there is no true remorse. It is all about her....There is no understanding for me putting my family first ...over friends...over the "organization" I work for...there is nothing but demands...What do you do? I want to take the high road and simply distance myself because I don't believe words spoken out of anger are what the Lord wants from me and yet speaking politely and with scripture is not accepted...and the worst of it is my dear Mandy and her girls...who are really young women are the best of friends...I sit here today very hurt because I strive to be the woman God calls me to be and though I fall short....I am striving...and I am trying to stretch and grow in His ways, words and deeds....I am at a loss today with the realization that people are not always what they seem and that I could be taken in so easily....I am hurting~

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

New Car~

Tom is off today with an awful cold to ...Lord willing buy a car! I am so happy that his mom has come around and seen that her son is really trying and just needs some help~ so off they went late this morning. I am thankful beyond words. I woke up early this morning to Gabby with a stomach bug..she spent all morning sick. Gabby always seems to get the worst of it when she comes down with something..so she is spending the afternoon in bed. The kids and I frantically spent the morning cleaning up as my mother-in-law will be popping in a some point and she can be slightly judgemental of my home keeping skills~ not really understanding what it is like to have children home all day and what it is to have an illness.but! she is helping Tom so...I am remembering to happy because God has provided for something that is really needed~ Mandy has choir tonight so she and I will spend sometime together and I will be getting my glasses today..Yea! it's so hard to get around not being able to see...hahaha showing my age. Ok~ off to finish the house.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Odds and Ends~

It's that time of year again~ Convention is lurking just around the corner...the family will be heading out next week for our yearly homeschool convention. I have to say that I am really not all that excited about it this year. Maybe it is just that I am so tired from the year that we have had...maybe it's after last year's event of my heading off to the hospital with a blood clot~ can't put my finger on it...could be just the dynamics of being on a board and all of the politics....Yep! that's it~ I am running this year for Vice-Chairman and I am ok with whatever should happen...this is an organization I believe in if it wasn't I surely would not waste my time especially with the dynamics of some of the people I work with~ I would love to see the organization really reach out to those in need within the community. So many single parents out there...so many special needs families...I believe that there really is a difference that could be made..so we will see what happens. The kids and Tom are extremely excited because they will all be working..this is the kids time to make money that helps carry them through the year for the little things that they want~ it gives them such a feeling of accomplishment. Tom is over the top about having work! Once again we are seeing God's provision for our family. My dad has two polyps removed today and set out for a biopsy. He is home after a week of once again being hospitalized. I spoke with him this evening and he was in very good spirits. I am thankful that the Lord has helped him to see that he is needed and loved. We are forging ahead~ With the Lord beside us for the journey.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Another Day~

Another day...another dollar! Well~ I am so thankful for God's provision...can't say enough about how just when I think..well~ perhaps there will be some saving~there's not! But..God is so good! His provision for us is great and He is merciful and caring. Tom and I started out early today with a long list of errands to run...doctor for me which I must say was a joke..a bad one..and than as if the doctors appointment was not enough~ well..the van died again! Yes, we just had it fixed..but never the less it was dead...had a friend come and jump us and two hundred dollars and a new battery later it is running..than I broke my only pair of glasses...an eye exam and another two hundred dollars later..and I will be able to see again tomorrow..But! Here is my point...God knew this was going to happen and you know what He provided for these minor emergencies in our lives. Perspective~ it really is what it is all about...really little things in the grand scheme..and I am thankful because I have a Father who cares about the little, the mundane everyday things of life~

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Bittersweet~

Life is bittersweet right now~ Ten years is winding down in our home....we received a letter stating that Tom has a court date set for the hearing own our home. This is something we knew was lurking around the corner and although we very much want to move due to mold and other factors...we were hoping for more time. I have been pleading with the Lord for time and for provision for our family..a place where we can land...a place we can call home. He'll be attending the court date on June 15th and will plead with the judge for more time...time to get a job...time to save some money and find a place. I know that this hasn't taken God by surprise..He knew what would happen and I must believe that He will show mercy. Many mixed emotions this last week as I take it all in...sometimes too much to process. This earthly walk of faith isn't easy..it's not without many questions but I know that I must hold it together; after all the kids need me...grandma needs me...my parents need me and my husband needs me to believe in him~ so I am clinging..clinging some more on my rock..the Lord.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Rejoice~

This is the day that the Lord has made~ Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

I am rejoicing today because God is faithful~ I am choosing to rejoice because He is meeting our needs. Yesterday I had a meeting for grandma's care and little things that are important will be taken care of~ little things like her getting someone to help her drink....making sure that she is dressed for the day no matter what...little things like being fed and told to open ...close ....chew and swallow. Things that so many take for granted~ After the meeting I spent time with her and I am so thankful that she still remembers me. She is bedridden now but her spirit is still there...I can still see grandma behind those eyes that are on some days cannot focus clearly. She is still with me and for that I am so grateful to my Lord. She is expressing being lonely and this does sadden me because no one will visit...too hard they say to see...heartbreaking not for them but for grandma~ No one should have to be alone. So I visit as does our family and my aunt and she knows she is loved. Isn't that what is right and proper...to honor a woman who was always faithful and continues to be so as she lays there and prays. I chosen to rejoice today in grandma and her life.