There may be a light at the end of the tunnel.....if fact I do know there is a light and He name is Jesus. I was reminded this weekend that our Heavenly Father knows where we are at...He knew what would happen before I did and He is walking beside me through this storm. He is the air I breathe...the strength behind my every step...He is my Lord~
Give yourselves to God.....Surrender your whole being to him to be used for righteous purposes.
Have we surrendered?! There are days when I think...well~ let me pick up those burdens and try to figure a way out~ honestly...what am I thinking?! I've got to let it go and truly let Him carry me...I can do all things through His strength and not my own~ and this has been a continuous learning process for me...because I am a person who likes control but! the Lord is teaching me that to rely on Him is the only way to grow...to live...He is my rock and He will sustain me~
Friday, April 23, 2010
I got a phone call this afternoon from a single mom that I have been assisting with some educational matters...it is truly heartbreaking. She and her father and little boy will be homeless tomorrow because they have lost their home and have been living in a hotel...she doesn't have the money for the next several days..I have called everywhere to try to get her help to no avail...they want to split her from her father who is elderly. What is this world coming to?! So I took it before the Lord...nothing else I can do...we cannot help her though I want to~ When I think I have it hard....when I grumble in my spirit...when I have a bad attitude....I need to remember how much the Lord has blessed me with~ This is such a hard time for so many...a transitional time for families, our country and the church but ! knowing that God is there in the middle of it all...He cares and sometimes it takes us being powerless to remind us of this.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
It's been a very long week...and it's only Tuesday! So thankful to be up and around after being held hostage in my room for the past week with a migraine. Yuck~ Today though I was able to for the first time in days to be up and around somewhat...was awakened by the phone this morning.....some friends just do not understand what it is to have this lovely disease called Lupus. So once I was up I put on the crock pot of Spanish beans that my son has been begging for~ he doesn't believe that I have been making enough Spanish food and wondered why I was neglecting our culture. He is too funny and I just never know what might come out of his mouth. So dinner was a huge success and I was very amazed because normally when I cook and I am sick...well the results are horrible! I am hoping to getting around to seeing grandma tomorrow ...haven't seen her in over a week. It seems the stress of Tom with no work and mounting bills is starting to take a toll on my health~ and it is not that I am not trusting the Lord it is just a very stressful time. I am praying for some relief~ my poor husband is feeling the as if he is not the provider that God intended...so I pray a lot and than I pray some more....dad got some very bad news..he has cancer of the eyelid and it will have to be removed and than a plastic surgeon will have to reconstruct his eyelid....and so we pray some more~ this life is a continuous walk of faith never knowing what is around the corner but knowing that God knows and will give us the strength needed just as we need it...and in our case give us what we need on a moment by moment basis....I am not liking this but really what choice is there but to walk on~
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Dinner was a huge success on Friday~ everyone ate to their hearts content and I was amazed that my dad had an appetite. He had a biopsy in the morning on his eyelid for what seems to be a cancerous tumor...than off to dialysis. The kids had a good time keeping him company watching his favorite shows~ sometimes it is just the little things that seem to bring some joy. So today I am exhausted! Amanda was to sing tonight at church but with both Tom and I under the weather today..she will have to wait until tomorrow. I am very thankful that church has many services for us to choose from so on my off days; we can adept. So tonight is a quiet night filled with movies and cookies for the kids. I am so thankful for a chance to rest...seems as if that is something that has been lacking as of late and something I cannot do without~ Tomorrow we will be off again to my parents for a family dinner. I will not be cooking though as my aunt will be bringing some lasagnas from Sam's. We will just a chance to fellowship and get the kids out and Gabby is looking forward to it as lasagna is her favorite. She is off in the kitchen now doing dishes...Austin and Tom watching a movie ....Mandy somewhere....and I will get the rest I need~ Thank the Lord.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Quiet day today for the most part....I know that I have been absent as of late but I honestly just needed some time to absorb all that is going on~ Tom lost his unemployment last week just in time for the van to need a complete overhaul...over a thousand dollars later and my melt-down is complete. His an appeal coming in a couple of weeks...so much prayer would be appreciated. Seems the company he was working for part-time told unemployment that he has been working full-time...wouldn't that be wonderful! It has been two years now and to say he is ready to work full-time would be an understatement. So we sit and wait until his appeal and the judges decision. He continues to apply everywhere and so do I but nothing as of yet~ He finally did hear from the company in Texas; they ended up going with someone local..oh well. I am holding out on the Lord~ He and I had a long conversation the other night...I totally let it out..felt much better afterward. The kids and Tom are watching a movie tonight ....The Princess and the Frog~ the girls had been dying to see it but a trip to movies has not been in the budget. Thank the Lord for Redbox....who can beat a dollar?~ Tomorrow my dad has another surgery ..this time on a cancer on his eyelid..and next week a major surgery on his circulation in his leg..his foot has an another ulcer and than of course Tom takes him to dialysis three times a week. My who ever said life is easy but there are joys along the way and I have learned that it is these moments that I cling too~ glimpses of heaven that the Lord allows us to see. The kids are looking forward to dinner tomorrow night at my parents..they haven't seen their papa in a week as Gabby had an awful cold over Easter. I'll be cooking a big dinner and it will be a good time of fellowship for them and us. God is faithful I've learned through all the trials and struggles; He has given me the strength for the journey...I remember learning as a teen about sanctification and our Christian life and how if we drew it out on paper it would look like a series of valleys and hills and mountains....well little did I know at the time what truth there was to that....right now we are in the valley..but I am looking heaven-ward to getting to the top of the mountain although at this moment a hill would not be so bad~