Monday, April 25, 2011
Bloom where your planted~ I am sure we have all have heard the saying many times. It has really begun at this stage in my life to take on true meaning. God has seen me through so many changes these past three years~ I have lost many dear loved ones.....we have lost our business , our home....our old way of life~ but we've gained much. I have learned to rely on God for all things..and I have learned to pray more fervently than ever before. I have learned that I am not in control of anything....I use to believe that I had some control but we all know that was nothing more that allusion on my part. My heavenly Father has seen me through many changes and through it all he has supplied the strength I need because I know I can't handle life without him. So if all these hard times...the heartbreak the losses I have suffered can be used by the Lord to encourage others....so be it. I know my God is bigger than all things...and I know that he will continue to sustain me and our family. I am going to bloom where he has planted me~
Sunday, April 17, 2011
It has been a very busy week~ I have had mom in the hospital with salmonella poisoning since Wednesday night. I was at the hospital with her until six am...oh my~ Thank God that I have been on a leave for work for a flare...yuck! Tomorrow back to work...really no rest to have been had this week with the back and forth. My doctor wanted to increase my steroids again..but! after losing twenty-five pounds and seeing all the complications dad had after twenty-two years of having to be on them; I have decided enough is enough and I will just have to deal with the pain. Work was not accommodating at first but I am so thankful for the ADA act and the head human resources department has been more than accommodating offering me four weeks off~ but I need to work and unless I am in a bad way..I will. Tom's job is going well although he had a slow week..but in sales that is to be expected at times...I am trying to encourage him. Amanda has resolved herself to not attending graduation ceremonies...she says she is beyond that point in her life and just wants to get on with her life...especially with dad gone. She is continuing to work at the church..that is where her heart is~ and than would like to do some missions work. Austin's sleep schedule is off again..my poor son but I don't see the point in stressing him out anymore than he is....Life is too short! Gabby continues to go to her weekly girls group at church~ I just pray daily that the Lord would bring her and Austin some godly friends like Amanda has~ they both could use some company although they are each other's best friends. Mom is going to start looking for teaching work...I believe that this will help her a great deal to have something to do...something that she enjoys. Meanwhile my aunt (dad's sister) has to go for tests. The doctor found a spot on her breast and it looks suspicious. I am praying that it is nothing...she smokes all the time. Life is never easy...just don't know how people handle it without God. I know that I never could....I know my limitations and without him and faith; I am nothing.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Yesterday was a difficult day~ it would have been my parents 44th wedding anniversary...I spent the day running and running some more at work but it still was difficult. I don't know~ been missing my dad so much lately...he has been in my thoughts...my dreams..very difficult knowing that I will not be seeing him everyday like days past. He was our families rock..the one we went to for advice..the one we shared so many things with~ I know in my heart of hearts that he is no longer suffering and whole again but! it is so hard...and some days are better than others. Seeing how some in the family have reacted to his death has been a little disconcerting...that some of my siblings can't see to help my mother is beyond me but I suppose having a "Christian" worldview and is what is the influencing factor in how I live and how my parents taught me to live and I am trying to remember that my brothers don't have this~ I know that God is still in control and will take care of my mom and is giving her the strength she needs..and I suppose that there will always be a missing piece in our family that only dad could fill~ I am thankful for the memories and I am so very thankful for all the time that my children had with him. He was able to influence in many positive ways and I do believe that they will take this with them throughout their lives.