Provision~

My review went very well~better than I could have anticipated.  I am so thankful~they are very happy with my performance and can't believe that I have been there only two months.  I believe that the Lord placed me where I am at...and I am more than thankful.  My manager and supervisor have offered to teach me everything that they know and have told me that I can take any of the classes online that are available...so I am going to make like a sponge and soak it all up!  I spoke with the branch manager about getting more hours because of Tom's layoff and she is going to try to get me as close to full-time as possible.  On Monday she is going to call the managers in the area and ask if I can work at their branches in the morning before I come in...and than she told me that I can pick up as many Saturday's as I like~I just need to ask each week who would like me to fill in for them.  So I think the Lord is opening doors to provision and that makes me very happy; I believe that God will not leave our family...no matter what the circumstances may look like.  His promises are for today, tomorrow and our future.

Trust~

It's been a week~of having Tom home full-time....his department was eliminated at work last Thursday.  It has been a week of ups and downs...it's been a week of blind trust~this I know didn't surprise the Lord and so I wait and pray and lean heavily on faith.  Tom is going back to school~after a great deal of resistance...it is the right thing to do and he has come to the conclusion that he needs to get a new career.  He is going to continue to look for work and Lord willing he will find something soon.  I have my review tomorrow with my branch manager and supervisor.....it is in Gods hands.  I know that they are happy with my performance...but whether they will offer me more hours remain to be seen.  They both know that Tom has lost his job and that I need to work full-time.  I am still putting my resume out everywhere~and I have had some interviews but getting back into banking is a long process; they do not make quick decisions.  The kids are anxious but I keep reminding them God is in control.  So it is one day at a time~that is all we can do and trust that God will take care of us.

It's not easy~

God is faithful~ always...through the good times and bad.  He is there with me on the days when I can feel his presences and when I am just barely keeping my head above the water.  Faith is something that God has been teaching me through these last four years~ it has been that long!  There are days when I wake in the morning and feel as if I am old and gray and on those days...I pray that God grants me the grace to get up and do the things I must...and sometimes it is just the ability to get through the day.  I am writing tonight just not for myself~ though this blog has been a diary/journal of sort ...but for those of you~ dear friends who are right there in the middle of the fight of your life.  When you think that you just can't take another hurt another disappointment in life~ I tell you that He cares....really He does.  I am reminded that we are going to be refined...a process that is not an easy one...a process that I have learned is uncomfortable and even very painful at times but just when I think I don't have it in me to continue believing that God has a plan; I get a glimpse of what He has in store~ I am blessed..very blessed by having had wonderful loved ones in my life...I am blessed by God giving me three special and unique children...I have been blessed by God giving me a husband who loves his family.  It has been a struggle but with every struggle God has shown me that He does care and love us and that He indeed does have a plan; though I don't see it now.  So please dear friends when you think you can't possibly keep going~ look up and release it all into His hands.  I can assure you that He is waiting there you to cast your cares...just release it all and step into his waiting arms.