Saturday~

Spent the day going through photos in preparation for the memorial~  the kids helped me go through hundreds of photos...it was a long process but so healing for all of us to see all the special times we had...all the travels that we took with grandma...all the stories each of my children had about grandma..We were all so very blessed to have her~  Amanda had to babysit my niece Summer this evening so I dropped her off along with Gabby and got to spend some time with her...she is so precious!  Can't believe that she is eight months old already...time just flies.  Here we are into September with Fall just around the corner...my favorite time of year~  We are packing getting ready to move in the next couple of weeks....how do you pack a house that you've been in for ten years?!  My goodness all the things we have collected....the garage is full.  Time to bless some others with the many extra's that we have~  The girls are getting ready to share a room again...I know that there have been so...many changes these past couple of years and my Gabby is having a hard time thinking about sharing with Amanda..they are polar opposites!  Amanda is sloppy and Gabby is so neat..she is beyond herself.....but they will work it out somehow~  I will just need to put plenty of shelving in for all of Gabby's knick-knacks.....It will be nice to be in another environment with some outside space...I may even be able to have some flowers again!  God is good...always providing for  our needs and even some of our wants~

It's not easy grieving~

I am sure that many of you may have believed that I have fallen off  somewhere~  Well I am still here; I assure you.  Life has hit me pretty hard as of late...my dearest grandma passed away.  As I sit here writing to you all it still seems so surreal...like I am going to awake from a bad dream.  I am walking through my grief...and it surely is a process.  One moment I am fine and the next I find myself thinking I need to go check on grandma~  I need to go and get grandma her things...and than I realize she is no longer here...Dear friends~  I implore you to treasure those you love...don't take the little things for granted~  because it could very well be the last time you say goodnight or goodbye.  It might be the last kiss or hug and life really is too short to let those you love not know it.  I had started to see a decline in her several months ago...and I knew~  I really knew and yet I did not want to go there in my mind..didn't want to think about not having my confidant..my friend..my life without her in it.  We lost my cousin about a month or so ago and that is when grandma started to really decline but just when we thought that this was it..she rallied...really rallied.  Nine days ago I got a phone call from one very devoted nurse who loved grandma just as if she was her own and  I could tell in her voice~  I spent the next four days at grandma's bedside talking and singing and praying with her...for the first two days she could communicate with me and than she lost her voice...she never spoke again but this didn't deter me not one bit....I continued to talk to her and take care of her~  but I could see she was tired..so tired.  I told her I understood and that it was ok to want to go home to the Lord and to my grandpa.  I told her that he was waiting for her and that I would be with her till the end that I would not leave her....I thanked her for her example to me...for loving me unconditionally...for being such a prayer warrior...for loving the Lord so~  I thanked her for her life.  I kept my word; I was with her till the end.  The last half hour I was reading hymns to her and scripture and than she peacefully took her last breath and went to be with the Lord...never have I been with someone when they have died but all I can tell you is that the presence of the Lord in that room was felt by me in a great way.  The look of peace on her face was incredible.  I miss her so~  I know that she is with the Lord...I know it was her time...all these things I understand but I miss her so~  I have planned a beautiful memorial for her to celebrate her life...this has not been easy but the Lord is walking me through it just like He always walked with grandma~