Saturday, November 22, 2008


What a busy Saturday...the kids and I got up early this morning to pick up our food. We headed out west so that I could pick up Chris. The kids with Amanda stayed behind to watch the munchkins....Poor Amanda~ She woke up this morning with a fever and sore throat....Her first choir performance and she can't participate~ She also had to miss her life groups participation in making the Thanksgiving baskets to give out....She felt terrible about it! Austin and Gabby have stepped up to the plate to help take care of her...Which is such a big help too is not one of my is definitely a "lupus" day~ I am so .....feeling the fatigue...the pain and the overwhelming feeling of being sick. These are the days when I truly hate having this disease! But the kids have been great...yes the house looks like a hurricane hit it but this is all temporary~ the Lord reminds me sometimes on a daily basis that this will all pass away one I need to take a breath on my days when I am not in tip top shape and learn to "chill"....learn to remember what is really important and learn to save my "spoons" for the things that are really important~ I have done a lot these last few days and with Tom being away...well...enough said~hahaha I am outnumbered by kids! As I lay here watching the news and having finished another cup of coffee...I have to remember God sees all ...He is in control....Lord knows when you have a disease you quickly come to understand you don't control anything~So I sit here waiting for some energy....I sit here waiting for my body to start to feel somewhat "normal"....I have to remind myself that I am doing pretty well for someone who hasn't seen their doctor for months now....due to us losing our health insurance ....I am doing quite well for someone who has not had all her meds....I am doing quite well for someone who has chronic pain and has not had any pain meds because of not seeing my doctor....So I really am by the Grace of God....Doing OK! I am not where I would like to be at this moment but I am certainly where I have been in the past.....Looking back last year at this time I was hopped up on steroids galore....I am not now hopped up...Although....the weight from the meds ....will probably never come off....I guess my hubby must learn to love a chubby wife...But he says better more of me than a women who can't function, live, love~ I need to learn to accept these things.....I know but some days it is hard....So I will sit here and rest and struggle with all this...and Tom will be home tomorrow and maybe this too will pass~

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