This weekend has been such a roller coaster of emotions~ My dad is not doing well...and if I stop and let myself think....I am having a hard time letting go of someone I adore...someone I am just not ready to let go. I know this sounds terribly selfish...it is something I am really struggling with because I know he is in pain ...physically and emotionally...he is not himself~ and I find myself asking the Lord...where are you?! I know He is there..don't get me wrong but my heart is breaking...not just because I will miss him dearly but I stop ...if I allow myself and think...and think about my mom....my children and ask myself ..how will the Lord ever be able to use me to comfort them..when I can't stop crying over the thought of not having my dad around to talk with ...and to joke with and to just visit with~ My children are asking the Lord for a miracle..they have such faith ...a faith that I cannot find right now..a faith that I am lacking today. My dad has become very quiet ...he was always a shy man but not with his family...with his family..he had strength..strength of convictions..a man of true integrity..a man who is generous..and now he sits in the quiet..seeming to wait for the Lord to call him home..
1 comment:
Dear Vikki,
My heart is breaking and I'll be saying prayers for you and your family. It's so hard to let go of the people we love. Even though we know they'll be in a better place, without pain, but missing their physical body is so so hard!
Your dad sounds like such a wonderful man...you are blessed to have the wonderful memories of your dad.
I pray for you to feel God's loving arms around you during this time....
love,
dolores
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