Demo Reel 2 Asleep In The Light

Austin~

My sweet son, Austin...."Austie"...my little man is fifteen~  he keeps me company and talks my ear off...what a blessing!  Not too many boys this age do~  so I know that we have a unique relationship.  Austin will be having surgery on Monday morning at 7:15 am...he has been having some stomach issues for a while now and they have gotten progressively worse.  He was doing well and then he started to get quite ill~  he didn't want to worry me..he told the doctor he thought he could handle it on his own and figure it out!  He is too much~  he thought I had enough on my plate...I had to remind him that he is fifteen not thirty and that I am the parent and I need to take care of him...so off we go Monday to the hospital and the rest of the week we have to have tests done.  I am praying that the Lord would give the doctors the wisdom to treat him that way my son can be healthy again.

Happy Birthday~

Today was grandma's birthday.  I stopped at Publix and picked her up a beautiful mini cake with Butterflies and a lovely icing.  We also brought her flowers..she loved them and ate some cake!  Very big for her as her appetite is really  waning.  She was so happy to see the kids~  She couldn't get over how big they had gotten...It was good to see her happy and she was in and out~  at one point she asked me what her name was as she had forgotten.  This is so hard at times~ I miss our long conversations and all the stories she would tell me.  I am blessed though by many happy memories with her and the kids~   all the trips we took together her and I ...Disney..she loved the parades...she loved doting on the kids...I truly miss those days~  She has stopped being able to pray as she did only a month ago....it is difficult to see...So I continue to pray.

Father's Day

We had a wonderful Father's Day~  we were blessed with movie tickets and off we went with the kids to see Toy Story 3.  We all really enjoyed it....it was cute, happy and sad.  I hadn't been to the movies forever~  a great family time!  We so needed that~  Tom got two days off in a row so tomorrow back to work!  Wow~  it is great to say that out loud!!  I am going to start packing this week and have been contacting rentals in order to find a new place.  I am praying the Lord puts us just where we need to be~  somewhere the kids can be comfortable.  I am now torn between going back to school and working...something needs to be done so I am praying the Lord would give me guidance. So many decisions need to be made in the next several months.  My dad has decided that he would very much like to go back on the transplant list and so now we pray that he is strong enough and that he would be allowed to go on the list for recipients. Life is never easy but with the Lord anything is possible~  I truly believe that~  all I need to do is to look at my dad...He is a living and breathing miracle!

Job!

Tom came home this evening and told me about his day~  he was offered a job!  It is selling cars~ he has always been in sales management...so I have faith in him and told him I believe he should give it a go!  We will see where this takes him but perhaps the Lord is opening a door.  The recruiter he spoke with is a christian..learned that by talking with him.  He is happy that it is something that he is comfortable with and excited that he has somewhere to be on a daily basis...I am happy that he is happy~  so many things that we take for granted in life until it's not there...getting up each morning for work...that weekly paycheck...being able to make a doctors appointment..the list goes on and on~  So many things that I know that I will never take for granted again.  I say thank you Lord for your constant provision.

Ponderings~

Bear up the hands that hang down, by faith and prayer; support the tottering knees.  Storm the throne of grace and persevere therein, and mercy will come down~  John Wesley

Well~  this evening my knees are definitely tottering....but  I am storming ahead in prayer!!  I have been having these long conversations with the Lord~  I have always told my children that prayer is simply a conversation between them and the Lord...so we have been talking....I like to think it is not a one sided conversation!   Remember the movie The Bible~  the conversations that Noah had with the Lord in that movie....well~  that's me....continually talking...if only in my head..thoughts aplenty!  Today Tom went on two interviews...tomorrow he will go to an orientation to see if this sales position will pan out....we will see.  Someone said to me today that maybe the Lord is getting us to the point where we will consider perhaps moving~  You know I believe we hit that point a long time ago...it does amaze me at times the things that people say but I know now when I speak I believe I choose my words more carefully so this is something good that has come from all the inconsiderate comments~ See there is always something good around the corner if we look for it.  I am looking Lord knows....

The Journey~

I sit here in the quiet this Sunday~  everyone is still asleep as they had a late movie night with dad....this morning has served as a time of reflection and quietness for my soul~  I was thinking back through the many different seasons of our lives...and although I long at times for the good old days...never once do I question God's faithfulness too me.  He has seen me through a child's illness where I simply had to cry out to him not knowing if that child would ever be healthy~ and than he was...he has seen us through hurricanes and many other storms through life and somehow He made a way~ and we forged ahead as a family.  He has seen us through my illness and the many complications that come with it and I am still here~  Praise God!  He has given me a heart for the hurting that I might not have had otherwise...he has given me a resilience that I believe I can use to help others going through many different seasons this life on Earth brings our way~  So as I sit here in the quiet and solitude I know without a doubt that my Heavenly Father is watching and listening to me and is going to give me just what I need for the journey~

Moving on~

 We will be in a different home no later than November...not sure where but I know that the Lord knows and I know that He promises to never leave us or forsake us~  So I wait in anticipation for what God has for my family.  Tom was offered a job of sorts on Thursday but after reading the contract we don't believe it is something that would profit our family....no health insurance...he has to pay all his expenses..amongst other things~  I believe that he will find a job..the job that God has set aside for him.  He and Gabby went off to church tonight by themselves as I am still sick and Amanda and Austin are under the weather also~ but this gave Gabby and Tom some much needed daddy and daughter time.  They were able to get a bite to eat and then went to my parents for some fellowship.  Gabby had not seen her papa since before we left for convention before Memorial day.  Tom and I ran into my parents driving in town yesterday and they treated us to dinner~  Tom and I were able to assist my dad and he was able to walk which is a huge thing!  His eye continues to heal but goodness gracious now that the swelling is down; I can see just how much of his eyelid that they had to take...Tom says it is an absolute miracle that he can see and I agree~  Even through it all we have see God work a miracle through his life...and for this I say a big Amen!

Wednesday and all is well~

Well, I went to the doctor yesterday and found out that I am quite sick~   as if I didn't know...don't you just love doctors? ha ha  So I will be on medicine for the next fourteen days.  Yuck!  I take enough medicine and thank you very much...don't need anymore.  So I am laying around...resting.  She said the mold in the house is not a good thing....Since we were out and especially because I knew that while we were out we should get things done...we set out on some errands.  Social security....grocery shopping all done~  and we had time to fit in breakfast with each other which was so nice!  So not all bad....most certainly a well needed break together.  Tom received a call for another interview...Yea!  We are praying...very hard that the Lord would bless him with a job.  It is in the Lord's hands...I don't want to get excited for him and nothing happen and yet I want to encourage him too...such a delicate balance we wives have at times~

Laid up~

Day five of being laid up sick with this horrible cold~  will be going to the doctor in the morning to make sure I am not coming down with a respiratory infection again.  Gabby and Austin are bored beyond words...they were to go with Tom today to see a movie but the matinee had already started and Tom wants to stretch the movies passes given to the kids at Christmas.  So here they sit~  Mandy has spent the afternoon babysitting for my mom..Mom takes care of my brother's daughter and due to a doctor's appointment for dad Mandy stepped in to help out.  Tom took her over and they both called to say they could not get her to settle down...she was crying uncontrollably.  She is teething and simple miserable.  Mom to the rescue I had them give her teething tablets...I am hoping that she settled down for them!  Tomorrow will be a long day so I have spent today resting up~  I have the doctors and then were are off to social security...Yuck!  because they once again have messed up my disability..so I can say with certainty that we will be spending the better part of the day there.  Must be done though~  so I am hoping that this time they get it right.  A dear friend goes to court tomorrow for her home...I am praying that the judge will work with her~ she is trying so hard.  This really is a strange time we are living in..so many dear friends that just like us had a normal and comfortable lifestyle and now we are all in the spot where we just don't know how we are going to get by at times~  except with the grace of God.  So if you should think about it just pray for my friend...she so very needs it.  I am hoping to see grandma once I am well enough; I don't dare bring her this in her delicate condition.  I miss her very much~  I have come to grips with the fact that at this stage in her disease bringing her home is no longer an option but this does not make it any easier.  When I think of all the things that grandma taught me I can only thank God for her and her influence in my life.  Even today in her communication with myself and others ...she shows what a wonderful woman of God she is~

I thank God for every remembrance of you~

Sunday Evening~

Mandy sang this weekend~  she really loves this and working with the children...I am blessed!  She is off today with some sweet friends from church.  Tom has taken Gabby and Austin off to Wendy's for dinner...I am not a good cook when I am sick~  as a matter of  fact my family won't even let me in the kitchen when I am not well....so off to dinner with dad.  I am sure they are not upset about it...frosties~  enough said. haha  My dad will get the rest of his stitches off tomorrow and then Tuesday he will undergo the surgery on his leg.  Mom says that he must be feeling a little better because he is fighting with her~  always a good sign when they are being their usual funny selves.  So I am enjoying a bit of a quiet house while all are out...though my room is filled with the animals.  They seem to have some issues thinking we are going to be leaving them again after being away for a week.  I am so thankful to be home and look forward to being well so that we can sink back into a routine.  With stress it is so important to have one~  everyone especially the kids need some certainty given our situation.  So I am hoping that this awful summer cold will go away~  I have meetings and appointments all week and I would hate to cancel....or keep them and just be miserable.  Summer is never an easy time for me..seems that flares just kick up and never seem to completely go away~  I suppose I just need to rest but does a mom ever really rest?!   I think not~

Trust~

Trust and obey for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey~

I went to see my dad today with the girls and found him to be in bright spirits.  His eye looks as if someone clocked him rather hard but I must say the surgeons did a very good job of reconstruction.  He will need to have another surgery on his main artery in his right leg in order to clean it out an get the blood clots out again...I am thankful that he has good doctors.  My mom has started to attend a church locally after not attending for a good long time.  She seems to like this church quite a bit and I am very thankful.  I took the girls to the bookstore tonight so that they could spend some of their earnings...they were so happy!  Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment and I am hoping that I will get the referrals that I need.  I came home tonight to Tom not feeling well but I think that is to be expected with all that is going on...So I continue to pray.  I am continuing to look at business ventures that I can do out of the home...can't have to many pots on the stove!  I placed an ad today as well for tutoring and we will see if  I can get any students.  I am trying to keep a positive attitude.

He knows what is best~

Sometimes I think I know what is best~ and I have learned that God at times has a completely different take on life.  This week was one of those times~  I thought that I would make a good Vice-Chairman but!  the Lord had something entirely different in store for me..and you know what He was right!  I have been taken out of a situation that was uncomfortable and stressful and for that I am thankful.  I know can concentrate on things that really matter too me...my single parents, special needs children and families in need....and everything else is no longer a big issue to me.  Thank you Lord.  Does this solve all the issues?  No, but one piece at a time.  We got home last night exhausted after a week full of work and one day of down time but it was a wonderful and well needed day of rest as a family....it will take us all a good week to recoup.  We came home to a house full of animals thankful to see us home.  We also came home to a rejection letter for Tom. This was especially difficult for him...and for me.  I spent a better part of the night in tears~ really wondering what it is the Lord has for our family.  What I am asking does God want for my husband?!  We know he needs to work..but in what field...doing what to support our family...we have a need to find a home..and the need of our children.  Confused?  That I must be honest is quite the understatement..and so once again we trudge on because really is there any other option?!  I think not~

I thought again last night after my meltdown of being thankful whether in "plenty" or in "want"....so I remain ever faithful to being thankful no matter what~